shit and more shit of a boring mind

"The first cut is the deepest"
When i heard this sentence for the first time i realized how true it was....
not the only first cut, but also the fist fall is the deepest and the harmest....and then you realize, or sometimes you don't realized, that it will guide you in all your next steps, when you have to make a decision you'll remember the first big fall.... and the failure of the first try will try to make you blind, tear your wings apart and the fear may be your uninvited buddy....
if the first cut was a relationship that caused harm, harm enough to say "i will never love anymore" or "i will never love someone like i loved before" be sure that the next beloved one will be chosen through the paradigma of your frustraded one, i mean, you'll look for all you wanted in the first relationship and will avoid all you hated in the first one, everyone knows it, there's no secret in this.
 At the first sight, even if the person you chose to be your sweetheart is fucking different than your Adam/Eve,somehow you'll see the first one in some acts of this other one...and you may bleed...
and...
SHIT, what hell am i writing it?...the best thing to do is to stop writing this and after erase it......but not today, i'm so tired...i had a fuckin' day...